Saturday, October 15, 2011

Banana Seat

My first bike had a banana seat on it.  It was, quite possibly, the most uncomfortable seat I have ever propped my buttocks upon.  The base was steel, and the cover was tiger-striped vinyl. 

In between was the thinnest, most ineffective foam known to man.  I think the Russians developed that foam for their space program, just like NASA developed Velcro for ours.  Velcro was developed to hold things together.  I suspect that the KGB had uses for the Russian space foam.

Still, I loved that seat.  The discomfort was fleeting, because I stood up a great deal of the time.  This was due to a combination of short crankarms, high gearing and the fact that I had legs like little toothpicks.  And, not nice new toothpicks, either, but toothpicks that some highway patrolman has chewed all through a car chase and then spat out on the road just as he was calling the ambulance to peel a couple of drunk-driving teenagers off of an old oak tree.

No yellow ribbon on that tree, either, let me tell you.

But, I digress...

Mostly, I liked the looks of that seat.  The tiger stripes looked bitchin' with the gold paint of the Spyder Bike, and the chrome sissy bar made me feel like a Hell's Angel (only without the drug dealing, senseless violence and social isolation).

I had a purple banana seat on my Buzz Bike, later.  It had a tufted cover with about 3 times as much Russian Space Torture Foam in it, but it was no less uncomfortable. 

At least it was a hideous color, though.


1 comment:

  1. Fabulous story. It was partly the coffee, and partly the variety of colorful, graphic images from this story that brought me to life this morning. Like a multi-colored sprinkled donut, I guess.


As always, sorry about the word verification. It's a necessary evil, unfortunately.