Sunday, May 8, 2011


It was a rainy day in Columbus, Ohio, and Val called me to see if I wanted to meet for dinner on the way home from work.  We often would meet at a restaurant and have dinner, like that, before driving out to the house in Pataskala.  It sounded good to me, so we decided to meet at Buffalo Wings and Rings.

As usual, we ended up having some beers with the wings, and a couple of cocktails with the owners, while we were there.  By the time we were done, Valerie had had enough to drink that she didn't think she should drive home.  So, she got in the truck with me, and we planned to drop by the wings place, the next morning, so that she could get her car.

After we got home, and Val was in bed asleep, I decided to ride my mountain bike back to the restaurant and get the car.  That way, we could sleep in a little longer, since we wouldn't have to swing by on our way to work.

I got dressed in my bike shorts, tights, a jersey and rain shell.  The temperature was in the upper 40s or low 50s, and I didn't want to get too chilled. 

I planned on taking the county road, which paralleled the highway almost to Reynoldsburg.  There, I would be forced onto the main road to cross the Interstate.  Then, I would ride city streets to the wing joint and grab the car.

I rode along at a pretty good clip.  The illumination from my bike light was not great, but I knew the road pretty well, since I rode it a few times a month, and I was mainly relying on the light to make me visible to any car driver I might encounter.

About 5 miles into the ride, I was warm and toasty, wet only from the sweat I had produced inside my jacket.  I was feeling pretty good about my clothes when...


I hit a stretch of standing water, about a foot deep and 30 feet across, in a dip.  I almost flew over the bars, but managed to regain control.  So much for staying warm and dry.

I hit two more stretches of standing water before I reached the highway.  One of them was dep enough that it reached my knees, even though I was on my bike.

Luckily, these were not moving water, or I would have been in trouble.  In essence, they were just mega-puddles.

I got to the restaurant, put my bike in the trunk of Val's car, and went inside to tell Chuck that I was picking Val's car up.  He knew I had driven her home, and I didn't want him to worry about it.

I must have looked like a drowned rat, because Chuck made me sit down, and brought ma cup of coffee and a shot of Wild Turkey, to warm me up.  (It's nice to be a regular!)

I eventually got home, and took a shower, before I crawled wearily into bed.

The next morning, Val woke up in a panic.

"We were supposed to get up early and go get my car!" she said.

"Don't worry," I told her, "I'll summon your car with magic,"

I snapped my fingers.

"Ta-daaa!" I said, with a flourish.

"Come on,"  Val said, getting dressed.  "I really need my car!"

"Look in the driveway.  I just made it appear."

I walked her downstairs, and opened the front door, so that she could see her car.

I waited until after breakfast to tell her how it actually got there.


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