Sunday, February 27, 2011


We sold a lot of bottles of green Slime flat- protection at the bike shop.  The area around Parker is rife with goat-head thorns, so we commonly loaded the tubes of new bikes with the sticky, fibrous, hole-plugging liquid.

Occasionally, when one airs up a bike tire, the bead of the tire will fail to seat in the rim.  When this happens, the tire will pop off of the rim and the tube will expand like the bubble gum from a 10 year-old's lips.   And, like a bubblegum bubble, it will pop.  If you have pumped the flat-protection in, you get Slimed.

Once, Hans was airing up a tire, newly Slime-filled, when the tire popped off the rim.  Unfortunately, he didn't see it happen, and continued airing the tire up with the air hose.  The tube was apparently more robust than most, and the unconfined bubble grew to the size of a basketball.

"Hans!" I yelled.

"Wha...?" he turned and saw the distended tube just as it blew. 

It was the most epic Sliming I ever saw.  Hans' hair was slicked back as if he had combed green BrylCreme through it, and his shirt was soaked.  The black ceiling tiles (yeah, they were actually black, oddly enough) above Hans had a halo of green flecks, surrounding a blank spot which, in a cartoon, would have been Hans-shaped.  As it was, you could definitely tell something had blocked the spray.

Five years later, when I last worked there, Destinations Cyclery still had Slime on the ceiling.  And Hans still didn't think it was funny.


1 comment:

As always, sorry about the word verification. It's a necessary evil, unfortunately.